First Dates

Aren’t they the best? I will never tire of the butterflies that accompany this sweet and thrilling adventure.

Last night I experienced one of the best first dates of my life. He took me to an NHL game, we had great seats, and he was such a gentleman all night long. When we were eating dinner, he told me I was beautiful. When I got cold, he gave me his jacket. When I needed a refill, he took care of it. And when the game was over and I wanted to meet up with a good friend, whom he didn’t know, that was there with her boyfriend, he said “let’s go!” He was just so confident, and cool, and I was kind of in awe of him. He didn’t have to justify his actions, he just did them. He was bold and the date was effortless. It was always exciting and never awkward. There was never a shortage of smiles. It was perfect.

Before I got in my car, he asked if it was ok for him to plan date 2. So, it’s safe to say there will be a second date for this One Date Wonder (as my friends like to call me)!

To be continued (yay!!)….

XOXO,

Just A Little Crush/ Throwback Thursday

So I met someone.

I met a guy who shares my sphere of influence and everytime I speak to him, I can’t help but think, “Wow. He gets it. He totally gets it... in regards to everything: life, ministry, people, education.. he gets it!” We just click so much it’s scary. That’s the thing: it’s scary. It’s SCARES ME. When things ended with my college sweetheart… I can’t begin to describe how devastated I was. With a broken heart, I remember thinking,  ”the next time I love a guy, it’ll be for keeps.” And I meant it.  For the past year or so, I’ve poured my life into my kids. As they often do, they can make or break my heart. But when it comes to romance… it’s a different story. Because of my past, I’m just not that vulnerable.  So even though this “crush” is familiar territory, it’s definitely marked in my mind as dangerous territory. My mind is open to romance… but my heart… not so much. It’s taking a little more precaution.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” – CS Lewis

Having said that, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, throwing around the “L” word and all that. After all, it’s just a little crush.

On a lighter, more annoying note: so since this person will be working alongside me, I admit to dressing a little nicer… putting on better perfume, being more detailed with my makeup and hair, etc (as opposed to my hoodie, sneakers and ponytail). Anyways,  these little brats angels that I work with repeatedly… REPEATEDLY made comments like, “oh Victoria, you looks so nice!!!! what’s different?” “You look so pretty this week, why?” “Did you get a new wardrobe?” “You’re wearing heels today… normally you wear those flats or Toms.” In my mind, I’m like shut up you little spaz! Ain’t nobody ask you! …. Please, please go ahead and let the nice young man know that I don’t normally look like this. *rolls eyes* Some people’s kids…. smh.

Here’s a throwback to Jennifer Paige’s Crush from like, 1998. I can’t believe that was 15 years ago.

Beauty

Below is a letter I stumbled across on wealthysinglemommy.com. Originally written for this woman’s 5 year old daughter, but I think it’s something we all need to hear! Grab the tissues!!

Dear Helena,

One day when you were a baby, Aunt Tina and I were smooching all over you. After all, what’s better than kissing a baby — all that smooth, perfect skin, those rolls of fat, all that love that just oozes out of them? Kisses and kisses and kisses. “We’re giving her extra kisses now so she can store them for times in her life when she might not have as many kisses,” Tina said. That was exactly right.

Now you are nearly 5 and you rarely let me kiss you like that any more. But, as you know, I like to tell you every single day that you are beautiful — for much of the same reason. Helena, I hope you read this when you are 14, and 24, and 44 and 84. I need you to know that you are beautiful. Because you are.

I was involved once with a man who let me know that he did not find me beautiful. When we first met he told me how it bothered his ex-wife that in the decades they were together, he never once told her she was beautiful. “She just wasn’t to me,” he said with a shrug. “Sure, she was cute. But not beautiful.”
How strange, I thought. How absolutely cruel.

From then on I was acutely aware of his miserly use of that word. On the one hand, he used it freely when describing past lovers or starlets. Yet every single compliment about my appearance from this man became an insult. There were an abundance of words of admiration, yet every, “You’re pretty today,” and, “You look summery in that dress,” became nasty, digging reminders that I was not, indeed, beautiful.

I see now that he was mistaken.

Helena, here is what I need you to know: To this day I carry a shame with me for two things related to that chapter:

I started to feel ugly. That was my choice. No one allowed this happen but me. But I did.

I stayed.

Helena, in your life you will meet many men, and some of them will not find you pretty at all. And maybe you aren’t to them — and that is totally fine! Who cares if they don’t like your appearance? Such things are but a matter of taste. But let me tell you something — you are so, so beautiful. It is not your big, curious brown eyes, those incredible eyes framed with magnificent brows and impossible lashes. You are not beautiful because of your dashing smile, the poreless olive skin or that elegant, mysterious triangle of small beauty marks that spot your face.

No, you are beautiful because of that thing — that perfect thing inside of you. It is that same thing that is in your brother, and in snowflakes, and when you and your friends laugh on the playground, or when the morning is quiet for a moment and we see the pink and blue clouds above the city. It is inside of me, too. And it is something bigger than you and me. God? Love? The Universe? All of those things — and other things. Things that do not have words.

And when some man lets you know that, no, sorry, you’re really great and all, but you are not beautiful, you need to know that has nothing at all to do with you. Not one thing. It has something to do with that man because he cannot see. And because you are beautiful you will be kind to him — because in all your beauty you will have that kindness and love to share.
And then you will go.

And you will find someone else, or you will be alone. But no matter what, I hope you know always — effortlessly and unconsciously — that you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

All my beautiful love and more,

Mommy

XOXO,

2013: let’s be real

We are living in an age of unparalleled self expression. (Thank you Facebook, twitter, Pinterest, Instagram etc.) This is a great time to be a woman-you can truly be yourself without judgement (at least not as much).

Rule #1: Be yourself (not who you think you should be)

Some women interpret self expression as the opportunity to be a complete and total biotch. Not the case. Self expression is not about cutting others down to make yourself appear more important. Being original and being nice are not mutually exclusive. Self expression is about being yourself. Even if yourself is a sweet, nice, full of smiles gal who takes people by surprise when she occasionally lets the sarcasm fly.

Rule #2: Mystery is good

While all this self awareness and individuality is great, just remember you don’t have to put all your secrets out there for the world to know. Share those deep ones with your soul sister…or your mom…not your “followers”.

Rule #3: perfection is boring.

When we think about embracing ourselves for who we are and who we were created to be, I often think I have to love everything about myself and if I don’t, people will discover my life is not as perfect as my Instagram photoblog makes if out to be. I’m going to call shenanigans on myself on on that one. Most days I love myself. I am happy with the way I look. I like that I have some curves, big blonde hair and big eyes to match. Its so…me. But the days I cant find anything to wear, it would be easier to be the girl that looks good in a gunny sack.

Rule #4: be yourself (so important it needs to be said again).

Growing up with an older sister like I did, it’s easy to hide your personality and not truly be yourself. Being just 2 years apart, my sister and I always liked the same things (types of boys included), did the same things, and listened to the same music. Some where along the way I decided I wanted to just be me-whoever that was. Yes, sometimes we still freak each other out by buying the same top when we live 100 miles apart-but we wear them totally different because we are totally different.

My favorite way to express my personality? It changes all the time; but lately I love bold lipstick in the middle of the afternoon (fuchsias and wine reds are my favorite!). Or mixing a cute floral skirt with a stripped top. Or wearing my overly large nerdy glasses.

XOXO,

Only Hotness Monsters Need Apply

Yeah buddy!

I know this is pretty basic.. but I really want to marry a hot guy. Not the “oh he’s kinda cute” type of guy. I want to look at him and be like “dang!”

And it’s not just physical looks that make a person “hot”.  I was watching The Hobbit and the main character/dwarf was called Thorin (Played by Richard Armitage… who has such rich deep voice). Anyways, I couldn’t help but think “this guy is hot… but he’s not my typical taste. Why is he is so appealing to me?” Well let’s see, within the first 10 minutes of his character being introduced, he displayed:
1. Integrity
2. Fierceness/Warrior qualities
3. Intelligence
4. Compassion for others
5. and the voice of a sexy beast.
6. And even though he played a dwarf… you could tell he was tall… and beefy. (he’s 6’2 in real life)

Oh yes, and another actor to be on the look out for in The Hobbit: Aidan Turner who plays Kili. I just love manly men. A man who fights….Hot, Hot, Hot!!!!

Yum.

Christmas Time is Here!

Enjoy this beautiful music from the extremely talented Paul Klein.

Morning Loves